Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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