Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
