that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize