dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
