okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
