So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
