i just google imaged poop.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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