you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
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