She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
