I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
