Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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