oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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