New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
