we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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