You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
