I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
