Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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