fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize