every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
