His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize