he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
