You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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