You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
ok first of all what the fuck
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
