you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
