so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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