There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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