Little spoons don't ask big questions
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
