After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
