$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
