I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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