Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
