I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
