I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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