Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
