Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize