I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
