His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
