return my video game
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
