It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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