Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize