We're like a lot better than the average bears
Betty ford says i'm here all night
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
