She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
