Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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