are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
why do cheetos always look like penises
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
He literally asked permission to hit on me
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
