I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
