I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
