Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
