I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
