Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
