So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
