you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
