I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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