dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
