she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Will exercising make me less horny?
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