i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Someone came in the potted fern
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
