Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
