I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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