lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Let's get the cat blown out
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
