**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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