you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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