I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize