Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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