In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
her vagine was all disorganized.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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