Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I wish there were birth control emojis
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
